What’s Been Going On And Worrying Over Things You Don’t Control

Hey Everyone!

Sorry I haven’t updated lately. Things have been very busy. Some with the comic. Some with life. Mostly with life. But I think I have come back into a clear patch in things and I am moving towards getting things done here.

On Adamsville’s front I have been slowly but surely making my way through these new pages. 16 new pages is quite a bit and it’s also involving doing some redrawing of a few panels here and there of completed stuff. I haven’t been getting through them as quickly as I would like, but I will get into that shortly. The pages are looking good though and I am excited to see what the story looks like with them in place. And so far Kev Brett has been lending some help my way with flatting and he is awesomes. 🙂

I have been thinking a lot though. Honestly the last month has been a big rollercoaster of emotions. And it is very silly for the most part… But we have to work through what’s going on inside of our heads and hearts. I have struggled a lot with letting go of the version of the book I saw in my head to embrace the book this now becoming. Originaly I saw the story as one big “whodunit” from book to book and then those things inter connecting into one big story. I am now having to embrace this story as more of one big continous adventure book rather than a whodunit X-files style book.

I am starting to emrbace it though and honestly I am just getting more and more excited about the way the final two books will play out (originally it could just go on and on and on). It’s making it easier too to propose this series later, since I can tell them exactly what each book is and is about.

What I don’t think I was quite prepared for was just how physically exhausted I have been lately. When I decided to do this book last year I decided I wanted to pursue it with all my energy and try and finish it as soon as possible. That lead to long nights and days for a long period of time. And it finally caught up to me. Like I feel as if my body is just shutting me down right now and I am having to fight back into production mode, when I was hoping to be recouping, so that I can finish these new pages. I took a number of days off and went to bed much earlier for a few weeks. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of rest, especially when are going full speed all day and doing this in the whee hours of the evening.

What that then afforded me was the opportunity to think… Which isn’t a great thing for me, lol. For the last year or so there was no time to do anything but put the nose to the grindstone and keep going. Now that this is almost over… You start in with the what if’s. What if the book doesn’t find a publisher? What if it doesn’t make any money? What if no one likes it? Those concerns have been almost crippling lately. It has lead me to really think about what all of those scenarios might mean for me and I came out on the other end… pretty happy actually. Things are looking good no matter what! Even if it doesn’t sell, I will still have finished it. Even if I have to focus more energy on other art forms by necessity, like painting and concept art, well that doesn’t mean I can’t just make the comic anyways.

We are (artists that is), as a whole, a very insecure group of people… And we make it much worse with our wringing of our hands and concerns. I am reminded of Christ’s words from the Sermon on the Mount: Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore don’t be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” No story is ever as absolute as we like to think. Life isn’t boxed in like we suspect. And life and happiness and our futures shouldn’t be caught up so much in things that are out of our control.

I don’t know what will happen with this book. I believe in it, but I am super anxious it may go nowhere. I don’t want to be crushed if that’s the case because it was worth making this book no matter what. And I want to make the next two.  So I need to pick myself, nose to the grind stone, make the best book I could make and let the world do with it, what it will.

What I have done is spend some time sketching and painting. When this book is officially ready to leave my door, I will be spending a lot of time getting better at my craft. Honestly I have been SO ready to just explore and make new paintings and illustrations or comics stories. Like it’s just pouring out of me. So I have been painting some to just pet the muse. Here are the things I have done. I hope to show more Adamsville stuff soon. Right now I suspect I won’t get to pitch the book around until January, but it will be a much better and more complete feeling book. Happy Holidays everyone.